Help people to achieve ‘my dreams”…

So funny, today I am helping people to achieve ‘my dreams’.

Hmm… start from Form 5, I think. Instead of become a great graphic designer; I always have a dream, I want to become a WEDDING PLANNER. [Can say that I am a dreamer, day dreamer… HAHA] When u seen a couple of lover get married, u look at them u will feel their happiness right? Cause they finally found each other. If can, I want to help them, I want to give them a great wedding and a memorable wedding, no matter rich or poor.

I never forget my dream though, even today. Just felt the more grow the dream getting far. The fact is all the dream use money. No money no talk. So, the plan has to hold it first, I told myself. Have to earn a lot a lot of money. Maybe 1 day…

Today, my friends asking me to help her design the logo and name card for her business. When I asked her, what kinds of business u do? The answer surprised me. Wedding Planner, she said. Oh god, this is my dream! I was so admire and envy at the moment. The feel so weird, I want to say “No, I can’t help you.” [I am devil!] Seems like somebody ropes my dream, I know it is a bit funny and like an idiot, but I really felt like that. Haih …

It’s ok… I will help her anyway. Maybe 1 day I also can success, my dream comes true.

'小城' 故事 [-_-]

Lunch time back late again. (went out 12:30pm came back almost 3pm -_-)

Small town, can't imagine that going a place to another place used 1 hour. Traffic terrible jam, we stuck at the center, hot weather and hungry. An uncle came out from the car to find out what happened and the others hand he keep press the horns.[-_-] Under the sun + the noisy horns + hungry, that is extremely annoyed[@_@]. We decided turn the car to another road find the shortcut way.

SHIT!!!!, we found out there was the wrong way to go, CAUSE THERE WAS ONE WAY!!! Harrrrrrrrrr~have to turn a big round, and.. and need to jam again -_-'
[WHO SO 'CLEVER' SET THE ONE WAY RULES!!! #^*&(%@#@#$%^%%$#@@#@$^&**(%#@@$%&*(^$##@....]

Arrgh~ so hungry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Suddenly, a sound have been knocking my head and totally fainted with it.
WHAT?!! THE CAR OUT OF PETROL!!! [-__________-]
The car almost cannot move already. We have to stop at the road side to avoid the car stop at the center...and call another colleague for help. The driver (my colleague) told us, his car dun have alert light (already), to warning his car is empty petrol. [-______________________________________-lll]

Haihhhhh~ My lunch... man I am so so so hungry......................

Lost

Actually, I'm not really know how to using words to express myself. Writing blog is a difficult things to me, I always think like that. Today still is a blue-ing day. (caused I down almost since last week.) I had trying so hard to make myself more happy, but still lose. I'm getting lost in my way.

Job
smooth? not really; stable? can said that. But, I'm still hesitating about stay or leave. My status now is too stable and make me feel uncomfortable. It's seems like prove wanChing just like that. A warning came to my mind, I can't just stop my step at here for a long time. Everyone keep telling me this is a good place to learn, to stay, to grow... but, this is not my place. (Is it too greedy?)

Unconfidence
when think about all my friends' better than me, salary getting higher than me, I will look down myself. I think a lots. Is it their design better than me? Is it i have no talent on what i doing now? My value just only like that? (me KIA SU) I have lost confidence, especially on design. I always proud with my design, maybe is not the best for others, but to me is the best. But this kind of feeling, i lost it very long time ago.

Loneliness
My world getting dark recently. I see nothing in front of me, I catch nothing (I willing to catch everything, but end up is nothing). I feel cool and silence; helpless and loneliness. Finally my tears drop down, I cry. Give me five 5 seconds; I have a deep breath; I stop the tears; I laugh. (I know my heart still crying, still finding the safety place.)

Oops, too long~

Today always is a lovely day. Why? cause today is Friday, last day of the week (i means work day), and tmr i can go back hometown, and and i can see my little white (小白 my white color myvi) .. hoho!

Aahem, wat i going to write for the post today?I promise my friend won't make her "lao kui" so i must write somethings. [ :P ] I start writing the post coz i wanna make my life more 'appearance' and prove that i still alive, sounds weird. HAHA! But if one day I have to leave , at least i have left somethings at here, and ppl won't forget me. [ :S ] Not i wanna think too much, REALLY, I'm easy to forget. [-_-']

Oops, a bit out of topics, actually i wanna write about friend. [giggle]

My ex-housemate, Nicole she has told me before, we can have many kind of friends. Some only can say hi, some can share our happiness but not sadness, some can play together, some can shop together, some u think u close with but actually not, coz u didn't simply tell your things to them; and some when u in sadness or happiness they will always at your side with u, even they are far from u, u will feel their caring - THIS CALL TRUE FRIEND. I'm glad that i have 2. Have 1 true friend in our life already good enough; but, now i have 2 ... MUAHAHAHAA!!!

I had think about this, if my life dun have this 2 friends, it's become meaningless. I met them at the same place, stay in the same house before. One always help me when i need help; and another one always accompany when i was loneliness. If u ask me, which one u more close with? For me, they're can't compare, if both of them have problem, i will worry and willing to help. I felt sorry with the mistake i had make, and thanks they still with me. Honestly, no one can replace their place, Really, NO ONE and NEVER.

That day, she said sometimes she felt loneliness, and me more close with another one. I felt sad, and willing to hug her, just too far. I just wanna tell her, everyone have their value. And she has high value in my heart.. haha! (if she noe, sure scold me SONG~) Sometimes we will have unhappy things between us, coz no one is perfect, but i nv think to give up this friendship. Make her felt unsafe, I'm sorry...

Only in front of them, i not need to protect myself. No secret, can tell them wat i feel actually. Everytime I'm in sadness, i think of them, chat with them, it will getting better. If my parent is my 'BI FENG GANG' ; at outside, they also is my 'BI FENG GANG'. They stand 2nd places in my life. [ =) ]

p.s : DUN SAID ME 'PIAN XIN' o, all my friends. [giggle]

I need to be STRONG!!!

Single, Freedom, Enjoy. these is the life i have now and enjoy on it, I think.
But some small things will make me feel crying, sad, lonely, helpless...

My life = work,Instead of work still work.

Everyday busy on work. Sometimes sure will think to have a good dinner. Means have to cook, spend around 1 hour to prepared a meal, that's doesn't matter. Live alone, no choices. The 'SUAI' things was, my hand scalded with the HOT soup. WAAAAH~~~~SO SO PAINFUL!!! My hand getting RED!! I wanna wash my hand with cold water but kena 'SOT' by the fius. Everythings seems kelam kabut.

At that time I feel crying, i hope at that time got somebody take care of me, at least i won't feel pain. But, i didn't, i didn't cry, i keep stand. Even I sad and feel 'GU DU', but, i can't let myself cry. If i cry means I loss and agreed I'm weak. I tell myself. I Don't wanna look pity. Cry, who care? I want to be strong, I NEED TO BE STRONG!!!

No one want to be alone, just haven't meet the one we want.
So, at this moment, i should ENJOY my SINGLE'S LIFE. ^_^

My first post ~

Raining d, SHIT... later sure become "LUO TANG JI"... The fact is, i DIDN'T BRING MY UMBRELLA!!! haih~~~ I hate raining. No why, juz lazy to bring umbrella...

Hopefully i can drive my "小白" here soon, not nid FAN. OOO, "小白"? why this cutie name? HAHA! Because of my friend... she said her black myvi call "小黑" ; mine is in white color so, is "小白". we are 黑白無常 [ -________-lll ] ... za dao leh~ only her will think this kind of weird name.. hahahaaa

Actually i get my "小白" at 30th september 2007. Unfortunately, my parents worry about my driving skill -__- , so have to finish my private "driving lesson" first. Somemore ask me to put "P" on my car, kns. By the way, i had buy a cutie monkey for my little white ("小白"), it's head can shake, coz it depend on 太陽能, got 太陽, it's head will shake.. SO CUTE!!!
( I never buy this kind of things for myself before, coz BU SHE DE spend this kind of money,this time PUO LI hehe.)

* This is my first post and dunno how to start the post, thx rachel... give me 'IDEA'. Muarkss..