Lost

Actually, I'm not really know how to using words to express myself. Writing blog is a difficult things to me, I always think like that. Today still is a blue-ing day. (caused I down almost since last week.) I had trying so hard to make myself more happy, but still lose. I'm getting lost in my way.

Job
smooth? not really; stable? can said that. But, I'm still hesitating about stay or leave. My status now is too stable and make me feel uncomfortable. It's seems like prove wanChing just like that. A warning came to my mind, I can't just stop my step at here for a long time. Everyone keep telling me this is a good place to learn, to stay, to grow... but, this is not my place. (Is it too greedy?)

Unconfidence
when think about all my friends' better than me, salary getting higher than me, I will look down myself. I think a lots. Is it their design better than me? Is it i have no talent on what i doing now? My value just only like that? (me KIA SU) I have lost confidence, especially on design. I always proud with my design, maybe is not the best for others, but to me is the best. But this kind of feeling, i lost it very long time ago.

Loneliness
My world getting dark recently. I see nothing in front of me, I catch nothing (I willing to catch everything, but end up is nothing). I feel cool and silence; helpless and loneliness. Finally my tears drop down, I cry. Give me five 5 seconds; I have a deep breath; I stop the tears; I laugh. (I know my heart still crying, still finding the safety place.)